Dharma Voyage:  A Parent’s View

“It's ok”, I laughed as I watched my kindergartener run way out of the baseline to chase another player in T ball. Baseball is not for everyone. He’ll find a different sport. “Basketball is not for everyone,” I said as I watched my 6th grader run enthusiastically down the court to the wrong basket. He will find his sport. We just don’t know what it is yet. As a parent who wanted to be on a sports team in school, but did not make it onto any that I tried out for, I wanted my son to experience  the camaraderie, teamwork and communication skills that being on a team brings, as well as the inside knowledge and sense of belonging that builds character and confidence. As we rolled into the awkward teen years and the angst that comes with it as well as the anxiety of starting high school, we had not yet found “his sport”. But at the end of that first high school year, he was asked to join a rowing club run by Ben Booth of Dharma Voyage by one of his friends. He knew how to row a rowboat from his years in boy scout camp and his grandparent’s place on a lake, so he accepted. His journey (and mine as a parent) had begun. I didn't know it then, but the world of rowing is a culture in itself, full of terms and boat parts and technique, but also full of connections, communication, being in sync with another (on more levels than one!), even singing! He struggled with the terms, learned technique, and dove headfirst into what had been his greatest weakness: communication and connection with others.  Learning how to be in sync with his teammates in the boat helped him be in sync personally with them, and they with him. It was as if in learning how to stroke an oar at the same time, the team silently communicates their acceptance of one another. It is more than a sport, but as a parent, I can’t quite put my finger on how. I can’t help but feel a little jealous of the connections and community that rowers have amongst themselves. It’s a world where singing in rhythm brings a peace that running down a court can’t bring. A world where a painted quahog shell is enough as a winning trophy, where the feast at the end of the race is a pot-luck repast with quinoa and strange healthy vegetable dishes that wouldn’t be found at a posh sports banquet, and yet it is enough. It is a world where the experience is more important than the glory of winning. This journey he is on is not over, as he has become a life-long rower who has branched out to boat building, and to owning his own boat. It led to him jumping into a team of strangers, training off of an island in Maine for two weeks, then going to Ireland to row in an international competition. It led to his team twice rowing across open ocean waters to the Elizabeth Islands. Who knows where it will lead him next? I just know that as a parent, I have come to love the world of rowing with all my heart, for what it has given my son:  a purpose, a confidence, a connection that is deep and enduring. Thank you, Ben and Dharma voyage!